Katie & Dan - Belief in Disruptive Hope

To Friends of Disruptive Hope -

As some of you know, Dan and I have been hoping to become parents for quite some time. Anyone who’s met Dan knows he’s been practicing his dad jokes since he could talk. I’ve heard them all… and even laughed at most :)

We found so much hope in the possibility of adoption to grow our family. We quickly learned the process is far more complex, emotional, challenging, and beautiful than we ever imagined. This past October, we got "the call" and matched with a mom due with a baby girl in December. We couldn’t be happier after years of infertility, months of rigorous paperwork and screening, and 17 personal letters to mothers considering adoption. Someone finally chose us! At the end of December we flew to Salt Lake City, carseat and stroller in tow, anxiously waiting for when we would be called into the hospital to meet who we thought would be our baby girl.

The morning we were scheduled to go in to meet her, I got a text. "Katie, I'm so sorry... I can't do this.” We wished the absolute best for the mom we matched with and at the same time began to grieve the loss of a child who was still alive, but would never be ours. We flew home to Tennessee two days before Christmas and had a call with our adoption group. They told us in their experience the best way we could heal was to try again. Nothing could be done to take away the emptiness we felt - except for the hope of knowing our journey wasn't over. We asked our group what happens to families who aren't able to endure the financial loss of a disrupted match ($15K on average). This money from adoptive families is important and good because it cares for a mom’s physical and emotional needs as she faces circumstances that are unimaginable to many of us. Moms choosing to parent their babies is a beautiful and joyful thing. We should all do all we can to support them with resources before and after making this decision!

Unfortunately, giving this money can still mean many of these adoptive families go home to a completed nursery, without the financial means to continue with adoption, and without the hope to someday fill their empty carseat. We were heartbroken that these families, whose pain we knew deeply, had to live without hope. In partnership with the Community Foundation of Cleveland & Bradley County, we decided to start the Disruptive Hope Fund with the mission of bringing disruptive hope to these disrupted families. So far, this fund has brought us a lot of healing. Our community has generously donated enough to get 3 families back in the process, with 2 of them already welcoming babies in April and July. God has given us the gift of getting to know these families. From crying together in our grief to seeing their joy when they share photos and talk about their babies, they provide hope that one day it can happen for us too.

Today we wanted to let you know that we are a big step closer. We matched again with another wonderful mom who is expecting a baby boy at the end of October! While we know this isn’t the end of our adoption journey and circumstances can always change, we are thrilled to have another chance to grow our family.

We want to do anything we can to help other families like ours experience this hope and joy. As more people within our adoption community have learned about the fund, there are now more families that need this help than Disruptive Hope has funds to give. Please know there’s no expectation to donate, but we’d be honored if you want to be a part of what we’re doing, either through a donation or sharing this post.

Thank you so much to those of you who have carried us though such a broken and beautiful time in our lives. We can’t wait to see what the future holds both for us and for these families.

With Love -

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