Katie & Dan - Finalization
- Katie & Dan
- Apr 5, 2023
- 2 min read
A special update from our family!
To Friends of Disruptive Hope -
"Thank you for putting your yes on the table. This mom has chosen another adoptive family. Please remember, this isn't a no - it's a not yet."
Over the past 2 years, Dan and I received this email from our adoption group 28 times. In those moments and many others, our journey to parenthood seemed like one long “not yet" with a "yes" that was never promised. Throughout the adoption process, it sometimes felt inescapable.
Have we finished our paperwork? Background checks? Medical screenings? Home study? Profile book? Can we start presenting ourselves to moms?... Not yet
Has a mom chosen us as her match? Is the baby here? Has her mom signed the placement papers?... Not yet
Have we renewed our expired paperwork? Has another mom chosen us? Are we emotionally ready to match again, again?... Not yet
Has a third mom picked us? When is he due? Has Luka’s mom signed the placement papers?... Not yet
Is Luka ready to leave the NICU? Are we approved to bring him home from Louisiana? Have we finished our post-placement visits and paperwork?... Not yet
Are we officially Luka's parents?... Not yet
Until TODAY! Today was our finalization hearing and the moment that “not yet” finally became a "yes!" Even though Luka’s adoption process is complete, this is just the beginning of how our sweet boy will continue to shape us. He’s brought so much light already with his big toothless grins, calming sighs, occasional pee rainbows, and irresistibly smooshable cheeks.
The past 6 months have given us countless joyful moments when we’ve remembered how fortunate we are. Whether through infertility or adoption, there are many families like ours whose “not yet” remains unanswered. Some wonderful adoptive families never match and others don't have funds to continue after a disrupted match or placement. We are so appreciative of our friends and family, not only for holding us through highs and lows, but also for helping Disruptive Hope bring other families the strength and resources to try again. We love you and would not be here without you. We are especially thankful today for Luka's mom and her continued love. God has given us the gift of knowing her and she will always be Luka's mama too.
Whenever we reach big moments with Luka I sometimes picture what the next few years will look like. When will he walk? What will his first words be? When will he start to pick up on Dan’s jokes? But somehow today I caught myself thinking, "please - not yet!" Because holding this baby boy - who is finally, officially, and forever our son - makes this moment feel absolutely irreplaceable.
We love you Luka. We will always be grateful that you were our yes and to be your mom and dad.
With Love -
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